Donald Trump’s Horoscope

Donald Trump’s Horoscope

Donald Trump’s Horoscope
Special for News of the Week in Advance
(Disclaimer: you can’t predict the future, but it’s fun to try.)
 
Will Donald Trump become the Republican candidate for the U.S. Presidency? Will he back out sooner or later or get thrown out of the race, or will he be offered a job as a talk show host on an as-yet undisclosed cable TV station? Which scenario comes first? How long will it take? For an answer to this and other questions about The Trumpster, the answer may be found in his horoscope. Many people have asked us at The News: What does Donald Trumps horoscope say?
 
According to his horoscope, The Donald is a genius Gemini, brilliant at coming up with new ideas and bringing them out into full public view. A chatty Gemini with his quick-witted Sun conjunct electric Uranus, he is able to toss out one-liners quite spontaneously and deliver a speech with no need for a prompter or notes. Like most Gemini Natives, however, The Donald possesses the gift of gab as well as a very short attention span. And so the very real question is: will he get bored with running for POTUS and walk away before or after he is offered a job as a talk-show host?
 
Our staff astrologers have determined that The Trumpster will rock steady, staying on his current path for the moment, but taking a break during the holidays to spend some quality time at home, enjoying the joys and responsibilities of family and personal real estate. But, we believe, it looks like he goes home for good in November, 2016. But will he go home to the White House?
 
We believe, here at The News, that unless he gets to go on TV every night, broadcast from the White House, he will, in the end, refuse to become President of the U.S.A. Unless this is written into his contract, our astrologers believe, the POTUS deal will be off.
 
But what about a fabulous job as a talk-show host? It is in the works. Our astrologers believe that this deal is already in play and will progress in stages. We already see him on TV every night; but a more lucrative offer is being discussed. We predict that an agreement will be reached by Valentine’s Day, 2016, and that the deal is currently being forged by representatives of the Republican Party. Tune in next week, for more information on Donald Trump’s horoscope.

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